You’re being a good orderly person, then boredom sets in, pressure builds up, and before you know it you’re doing an old habit, or if in need of some excitement, something completely random and new. Like buying something expensive, going to another country for a day with no funds, eating more than you can handle, crashing a party on your own, having a shower in a downpour. It’s like searching for something you’ll never reach. A sense of awe does wonders for the brain. And what does this have to do with psychogenic itching and skin picking? Such things are highly accessible that, excuse the pun, scratch the itch of impulsiveness. Although they’re more indulgent than awe inspiring. They say trying to ignore it only builds pressure so you have to meditate through it whilst doing a healthy alternative like a hobby. But sometimes a hobby isn’t enough so I’ve devised a list of spontaneous yet unharmful activities from the internet (I am not liable for any consequences – stay safe!):
Dance aggressively
Do an artistic project then destroy it
Book a rage room (if they’re still a thing)
Get really experimental in the kitchen
Face a fear if safe to do so
Go on a rollercoaster
Extreme sports
Give yourself a makeover you would never usually go for
Take a freezing cold shower
Write positive notes and leave them around for strangers to find
Is impulsiveness another nature/nurture thing? Apparently my dad used to take incautious risks so maybe. It feels more than just blowing off steam, it’s like a nagging calling. I try to transmute such energy into goals I’ve been putting off but sometimes I want to do something that defies anxiety and suicidal ideation. Something outside of structure. I want to live.