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Mental Chatter

Lost in thought by Mikuláš

Analytical thinking can be very helpful up until it corroborates with our inner critic. Before finding out that sometimes thoughts are just a random stream of consciousness going through the archives of stuff, I identified hard with it all. It’s like rushing around a crowded city with lights and noises and smells coming at all angles, poking at you for attention. You walk down winding alleyways and wonder how you got there in the first place. Learning that I don’t have to worry and ponder over every little detail was like asking me to give up a piece of myself. But I’ll try anything for a sustainably beneficial change so I dove into observing my thoughts as though I was listening to a troubled friend. It’s still a strange practice because the contents of the thoughts are like an old mischievous friend popping up to peer pressure you into engaging again.

But then I focus on the feeling instead of trying to make sense of the imagery being presented like I’ve done a thousand times before over the years. Then there’s layers of conflicting feelings that I used to ignore for some reason, maybe to ‘protect’ myself. But it’s all just energy. My guess is the idea of us self-examining in a shaming way rather than in a loving way was rooted from past authorities and local communities using fear tactics to gain control. We can’t blame those who didn’t know any better, including ourselves. I for one feel like I’ve wasted my youth on unnecessary things but I think part of my process is to mourn that and thank it for getting me to where I am. I just hope the next generation is more knowledgeable through their ups and downs.

And that inner critic that comes along is just letting us know what fears we need to face in order to convince ourselves that even with the prevalence of failures, we’re allowed to have an adventure.

Published by PsychDermDirect

The holistic psychodermatology resource

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